Moths and Balls and Other Stuff......

Yes, I am still here. I know I haven't posted anything in several months, but life has gotten in the way. For some reason, I just haven't had the time or inclination to write anything. I'm sure it is just a phase that will pass. Maybe when life settles down and things return to normal (or as normal as they can be at our house) my focus and creativity will return. For now though, I guess the entries will be as sporadic as the thoughts that run through my head.

I will stop with my excuses now, because as you all know, this blog isn't about me, this blog is about Kaylea. I will, however, say that Kaylea is growing up and hasn't been giving me as much material as she did in the past. But, it just so happens that we had two hum-dingers that came out this past week. Since I found myself saying repeatedly that these have to go on "The Blog", I decided to put them in print. So here they are (for all two of our readers that have hung around).

First, Kaylea's Grammy told a story the other night that I had never heard before. She said several years ago, she and Pappy took Kaylea to our local KFC for dinner. They walked up to the counter to place their order and Kaylea studied the menu very carefully. While Kaylea was trying to decide on her menu selection, Grammy ordered the "Sr. Buffet." Then Pappy stepped forward and ordered the "Sr. Buffet" also. Kaylea was still having a hard time making up her mind. Grammy tried to help her out by suggesting the chicken strip dinner. Kaylea shook her head, no. Then Kaylea stepped up to the register and told the clerk, "I'll have the Sr. Buffet, also." Grammy said the man behind the counter bent over to hide his laughter, but then regained his composure and quickly apologized for his rudeness. Grammy told him, "It's ok, Kaylea makes us laugh all the time."

Next, this past week, Auntie M and I were unloading more yard sale items into the garage. The items had been in Auntie's attic and basement and smelled a bit musty. During all of the unpacking I commented, "I keep smelling moth balls," to which Auntie replied, "well, I don't know why." Then Kaylea pipes up and says, "WELL, I did see a big moth in here a few minutes ago." DOINK!!! I thought Auntie and I were both going to wet our pants. Bless her little heart!

Futon, Tufon or Tofu???? Kaylea Was Confused

We decided to buy Kaylea a new bed with out BIG yard sale earnings. After much deliberation we decided that a trundle daybed would be the ideal bed for Kaylea's room. When she has friends over, she can wheel out the trundle and both girls will have a nice cozy bed of their own. When only Kaylea is sleeping in the room (which is how it is most of the time) the trundle will be out of sight and out of the way.

Today, we began our search and while we were browsing Kaylea pointed to a Futon and said, "Oh, that's one of those Tofu beds! I really like them!"

I swear I almost peed myself I laughed so hard.

Kaylea took a ride on the turnip truck and obviously fell off.

Saturday morning we were getting ready to open up the Yard Sale for the day and Kaylea was helping out. She told us she would carry the phone out to the garage and begin organizing a few things. When she came back inside she announced, "Grammy called and asked if I wanted breakfast from McDonalds." Bub and I just looked at each other rather perplexed because we had not heard the phone ring. When we questioned Kaylea she insisted that her grandmother had just called a few moments ago. We then asked her, "Are you sure you didn't call Grammy and ask her to go to McDonald's for you?" Kaylea again insisted, "No, Grammy called me." So, I simply walked to the phone and checked Caller ID where I found NO call from Grammy. When confronted with this information, the child confessed to calling her Grandmother and asking for a breakfast delivery from McDonald's.

Bub and I just looked at each other dumbfounded. First, why would she just make up a story out of the blue like that? Second, does she really think we are that stupid? We came to the conclusion that either Kaylea thinks we just fell off the turnip truck or Kaylea just fell off the turnip truck. I tend to believe it is the latter of the two.

Let's just hope that her lying doesn't get any better when she is a teenager. She is just ditsy enough for me to stay one step ahead of her.

A Couple of Classic Kaylea Moments

First, Kaylea has been suffering from the normal fall allergy symptoms. Snot, runny nose, snot, cough, snot, stuffy head and most of all SNOT. You get the picture ;0)

To treat her allergies we started with children's Zyrtec, but that didn't do anything to relieve her symptoms. So I returned to the pharmacy in search of a better remedy. I decided to try the Children's Dimetapp which came in a combo package with a bottle of nighttime medicine and a bottle of non-drowsy daytime medicine. I have to say, it has been working pretty good. Until last night, that is.

I had gone out with friends and Bub and Kaylea were home alone. It was time for bed and Bub gave Kaylea her medicine. Then this morning she when she woke up she was complaining that the medicine didn't work last night. She began examining the bottles and quipped at her father, "Well, Dad, no wonder my medicine didn't work last night. You didn't give me the nighttime medicine!"

Bless her heart ;0)


Second, in an effort to show her BIG ORANGE spirit Kaylea emerged from her bathroom decked out in her UT shirt, her UT hairbow, and power Ts on each cheek. When we asked her what she used to make the power Ts, she replied, "marker!" It took some scrubbing, but we finally got it off. I guess I should be glad she didn't use a Sharpie.

Did You Know......

...the Dogwood Arts Parade is for dogs with wooden teeth. At least that is what Kaylea visualized when Auntie M. and I were talking about the parade over the weekend. Only Kaylea could come up with that one.

Kaylea Is Our Star!

This morning on the way to school Kaylea and I were having our normal little chit chat. It was about everything and nothing all at the same time. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she asks, "Mom, why is Pluto not a planet, anymore?"

Well, to be quite honest, I haven't kept up-to-date on the latest news in the astrological society, so I incorrectly told her I told her, "I think the scientist discovered that Pluto is really a star instead of a planet." Frankly, I don't feel quite so bad for being confused on this one, though. Especially after Googling it and finding that scientists can't even agree on what Pluto is. Anyway, because I hadn't had my cup of coffee yet AND I'm still feeling the effects of all of the flu medications, I told her she should go to the library and check out a book and we could see the difference between a star and a planet. (hmm...good research opportunity for her and little thinking for me). Well, Kaylea replied in one of her normal little quippy tones, "Mom, I don't need to look that up. I know the difference between a planet and a star. A planet is ROUND and a star is POINTY."

Now, I know I shouldn't laugh at my child, but this one about made me bust a gutt. I told her that a drawing of a star looked quite different than a "real" star. She was insistent that I was wrong. She even got a piece of paper out and drew me several stars just to show that she knew what one looked like. So, in an effort to get her to think this one through (yes, we have to do this a lot) I asked her, "well, if the stars in space have 5 points, like you are drawing, then why do they just look like little round lights in the sky?" I could tell by the proud smile on her face that she didn't think she needed to think this one through and she already had an answer for that question. She replied, "Because the stars are so far away in space you can't see there points from Earth." DOINK!

So, yes my friends, in your world the stars look like this:

But, in Kaylea's world they will always look like this:

Another Story From Our Little Blondy

Bub and Kaylea had some bonding time last week while I was feeling a little under the weather. Bub was going to fix dinner for Kaylea and asked her what she would like. Well, of course, she wanted his famous chicken noodle soup. He makes it by using Lipton Chicken Noodle Soup mix and then adding spaghetti so there are lots of extra noodles. This is their little thing that they love to make and eat - me not so much, though - but to each his own.

After Bub made the soup and fixed a bowl for Kaylea she told him she needed some hot sauce for her soup. Apparently, she had watched her cousin add hot sauce to chicken noodle soup and wanted to try it, also. This was rather shocking to Bub because Kaylea won't even eat black pepper (or anything that looks like it might have black pepper in it). He told Kaylea that hot sauce is hot (thus, the name) but she was insistent. So, he got the Texas Pete and gave it to her. He just stood back and watched her give her soup several drops of the stuff. When she put the first bite in her mouth she started waving her hand in front of her face and blowing air out of her mouth. She finally swallowed the soup and then ran to the kitchen and got an ice cube. She came back and put the ice cube in her soup. After the ice cube had melted she tried another bite of her soup. She had the same reaction, then went into the kitchen and got another ice cube. She came back and put the second ice cube in her soup. After it melted, she repeated her taste test, again. Then she looked up at Bub and said, "Wow, Daddy that soup sure it hot. This is the second ice cube I have put in it and it is still too hot for me to eat." Barry just shook his head and said, "Kaylea, the soup is hot from the Hot Sauce you put in it. Ice cubes won't cool it off!"

Bless her heart!

Kaylea is Trilingual!

Not a whole lot going on in our little corner of East TN. Just getting back into the swing of things after the Winter Break. The third six weeks ended Monday, and currently we are anxiously awaiting Kaylea's report card. School has always been easy for Kaylea (until this year, that is). Now, she is really starting to realize what it means to have to work and study to get those A's that she likes so much. Last six weeks she made her first B. I was kinda hoping she would be a little upset by the grade. (not totally devastated, but a little bit upset would be OK) But of course, she was neither! She thought there was nothing wrong with a B; she thought they were really good. I told her she was correct, but A's were better!

Of course, Mom would have been thrilled if my sister and I had been A / B students when we were in school. Unfortunately, though, I made my fair share of C's over the years (and we won't even talk about Auntie M's report cards ;) I remember Mom and me arguing about the abundance of C's on one of my report cards and me trying to convince her that the mediocrity of a C was just fine. After all, a C is described as "average" which is what she should want for her child. Subsequently, if I wasn't average, then I was some kind of freak (I think I was in 8th grade, which would explain the thought process, hugh?) I continued my argument by explaining that "average" meant that most kids were making them and I was normal for making them, too. Mom didn't really buy my argument, though.

One of the subjects that has given Kaylea the most challenges is English. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised by this. You see, when Kaylea was in 1st grade she argued with me and was adamant that she didn't even speak English. If I remember correctly, Kaylea was telling me about learning a Spanish word while watching Dora the Explorer. I was very impressed and asked her how to say the word in English. She was quick to tell me she didn't speak English. I was rather confused and corrected her. She continued to argue with me saying she DIDN'T speak English. I finally got tired of the arguing and said, "Fine, Kaylea, if you don't speak English then what do you speak?" Her response was, "American!" DOINK!!!

Now, I wouldn't argue with her if she told me she didn't speak English, but she speaks Hillbilly, instead. That is the truth. The child can't say crayon to save her life; she says crown. She doesn't call me "Mommy" or even "Mom"; she calls me "Mama" (Bub and I find ourselves quite frequently breaking out into the Judd's rendition of Mama He's Crazy after she calls for me). She doesn't say "pants"; she says "britches." And yesterday while standing in Coldwater Creek she was quick to tell me she needed to go to the bathroom because she "had the gut ache." What a proud moment!!!!

Now that I think about it, we should be thrilled if she gets a B in English, seeing as, they don't give grades in American Hillbilly. Bless her heart!

"Hey Kool Aid!" "Oh, yea!"

Yesterday, Kaylea brought home the proofs of her school pictures and they were great. I am very excited about receiving the prints! Many of you are probably thinking, "Wow, they are getting their school pictures awfully late in the year." Well, we had to have retakes this year. And yes, of course, there is a humorous story to explain why.

You see, this year is the first year that Kaylea has been able to take a morning snack to school and keep a water bottle on her desk all day. WHOOT!! WHOOT!! (She thinks she is a BIG kid, now) Anyway, on the first picture day, Kaylea asked, for the first time, if she could take a Cherry Kool Aid Mix Stick to add to her water at snack time. I was trying to be a super cool Mom and I didn't see any harm in it, so I said, "of course." (See where this is going?)

Well, that afternoon when I picked up by beautiful daughter from school, imagine my surprise (you will hear me say that a lot when referring to Kaylea) when she got into the car and had a lovely red Kool Aid mustache. Oh, but it wasn't the typical Kool Aid mustache; you know, the kind that peaks out the corners of their mouth and makes their smile a little more exaggerated. OH NO, you see Kaylea sticks almost her entire upper lip inside a water bottle when she drinks, so her Kool Aid mustaches kinda resemble Hitler's. They stretch from her upper lip to right under the tip of her nose.

I very calmly asked Kaylea (with all of my fingers and toes crossed), "So, did you have your picture taken before snack or after snack. She replied, "Oh, way after." I just kinda sunk into the seat and said, "Well, you are going to have a really pretty Kool Aid mustache in your school picture, then." At that time Kaylea proceeded to argue with me and tell me "No, I won't." I was very insistent in saying, "YES, you will, because you still do." Apparently they have no mirrors at her school, or she is the least vain person I know, because she had no clue that she had walked around all day with her upper lip stained cherry red. To my surprise, she was only minorly embarrassed when I brought this to her attention. So, to stress the importance of GOOD school pictures, I pointed out to her that this picture was going to be in the yearbook and everyone in the school was going to see her Kool Aid mustache. Of course my message fell on deaf ears because she just rolled her eyes and said, "Mom, the mustache isn't going to show because the yearbooks are in black and white." (DOINK!!!!!)

Anyway, we have beautiful pictures, now. We will just keep those fingers and toes crossed that the yearbook staff will take mercy on her and put in the retake.


Once again, you might wonder what lesson I, as Kaylea's mother, have learned from all of this. Well, once again, there are a few:

1. Kaylea does not take Kool Aid Mix Sticks to school anymore.
2. I have a lot more vanity that my daughter.
3. In Kaylea's future, I think she will hear the following saying quite a lot, "bless her heart."