Magna Cum Grocer

With our move to Florida, many important decisions have been necessary. You know the ones I speak of:

• What Doctor should we use?
• What Dentist is kind and gentle?
• Where should I get my hair done?

BUT, one of the most important questions was:

• What school should we send Kaylea to?

In Tennessee, this wasn't really an issue because there was only one school in our small town; therefore, the county pretty much made the decision for us. But, down here it is totally different. We could send her to the nice little neighborhood school, for which we are zoned. We could choose to send her to one of the many magnet schools that cater to your child's academic interests. We could send her to one of the private schools. Or we could send her to an open enrollment, "school of choice."

All of these choices were quite mind numbing. We carefully weighed each option and tried to determine the best school for Kaylea. The neighborhood school, Dixieland Elementary, would normally be a very viable option, but we don't anticipate staying in this school district for the entire school year; therefore, Kaylea would have to change schools again mid-year. The magnet schools are fabulous, but we would have to apply for Kaylea to attend them, and people have been on waiting lists for 2 - 3 years to get in. The private schools are a nice option, also, but unfortunately we don't have an extra 7k to spend on tuition. So, we opted for the "school of choice." We feel we made the right decision because regardless of where we eventually buy a house, Kaylea will be able to remain at the same school.

One of the catches to sending her to the "school of choice" is that the school buses only pick up children that are zoned for the school. So, I am traveling 20 miles round trip, twice a day to take Kaylea to school and then pick her up. I don't really mind the drive because it gives Kaylea and me a little bit of time to talk and share all the important things that are going on.

I do have to say, living in a town with so many schools is hard for Kaylea to grasp. In the morning and afternoon when we are making our voyage across town, she sees many different school buses and always asks me, "Which school do those kids go to?" Of course there is no way of knowing, so I can only guess depending on which school we are close to. One morning as we were pulling out of our neighborhood, she saw a school bus and asked, "Mom, do those kids go to that Winn Dixie School that I was supposed to go to?" I was a little confused at first and then I realized, she meant Dixieland School. I couldn't help but laugh. I guess she was probably glad that we didn't send her there; after all, she wants to grow up and be a doctor not a grocer.

I have a gripe

I know that I am not a teacher; I never have been. But, I went to college and got the degree needed to be a teacher; therefore, I feel a kinship with the educators I encounter in my day to day life. Due in part to my educational background, I have always supported Kaylea's teachers and tried to back them in their efforts to educate my daughter. I have always been a very "involved" parent. You know the kind. I was a full-time volunteer in Kaylea's classroom; the first to put my name on the party sign-up sheet (heck, most of the time I was the one that made the party sign-up sheet); always present at class parties; never missed an opportunity to chaperon a field trip; and basically, rallied all the other parents together for various classroom projects and causes.

This year, however, things have been different. Basically, I am a lot less involved than in years past. I began the year by volunteering one afternoon a week, but I just got the feeling that I was not wanted/needed/welcome. For whatever reason, Kaylea's teacher and I just haven't warmed up to each other.

Now that you know a little history, I will explain my gripe. And yes, I felt giving a little history lesson was important so that you wouldn't think I was "one of THOSE parents." (The kind of parent that is never happy with their child's teacher.)

First, all of the students in 4th grade are required to become 4-H members. I don't have anything against 4-H as a club. But I think it should be treated as that, "a club" and all participation should be voluntary. I don't understand, however, how membership and participation in a club can be mandatory. If participation is mandatory, it is no longer a club; it is a class. Which brings me to my second gripe, there are many 4-H activities that Kaylea has been required to do, for which she was graded on. The most current activity (assignment) from 4-H is to write a 200-400 word essay on the 75th Anniversary of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. When this activity (assignment) was sent home, Kaylea's teacher notified us that the students would be graded on their essay. Then she asked us to help them with this paper. Well, naturally, I asked Kaylea if she had been told how to write an essay? Guess what? NO! The kids had not been given any direction on how to even begin to write an essay. Oh, and let me remind you, these are 4TH GRADERS. (I don't think I learned how to write an essay until I was in 8th or 9th grade.) So, here I sat trying to explain the mere basics of essay writing to my daughter and "helping" her organize her thoughts so that she can turn them into a somewhat coherent 200-400 word essay. Well, we Kaylea finished the thing today, and I must say I am proud of her for the effort she put into the assignment. But, if Kaylea's teacher thinks that all of these children produced these great literary pieces as a result of what they have learned in school, then she is sadly mistaken. I just hope that we she gets a good grade on the damn thing!

Don't get me wrong; I expect to help my child with various assignments. I am very involved in her education. I just feel that I should not be expected to teach my child how to complete a task for which she is receiving a grade. That is the teachers' responsibility. What if I were a parent that didn't go to college, or didn't even finish high school. Odds are I probably couldn't give the best guidance to my child when it comes to constructing an essay. Should the child be punished for that? I think not!

The "F" word - Now and Then

~~~NOW~~~

Yesterday Bub and I received quite a shock when we opened Kaylea's school agenda and found this note from her teacher, "Kaylea said the 'F' word 'f_ _k' today. A student heard her say it and then started telling the other students in the class. I asked Kaylea if she said it and she said, 'yes.' She said that her aunt and dad say this word a lot"

Bub and I were quite stunned and confused after reading the note. But before I go any further I must say that I am the last parent you will ever hear saying, "NOT MY CHILD -- SHE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!" There have been very few things that Kaylea has done in her life that have truly shocked me, but I have to say, this was SO NOT Kaylea. She has always instictively known which words were "bad" and has never spoke one. Second, Bub does NOT say this word either. It is one that we do not use. Now Auntie, yes she has been known to drop the "F-Bomb" when she gets a little over passionate about her topic. But, Kaylea has always known that this word was totally inappropriate. Needless to say, we wanted to find out exactly what happened; what was said; when it was said; etc.

I immediately drove to the church and got Kaylea and brought her home for the formal inquisition. Upon receiving the third degree, this was Kaylea's side of the story, "The word was written in K's (her friend) locker. K pointed it out to me and I only read the word out loud. I didn't say it; I only READ it, and you know I always read out loud, Mom! Then when Mrs. T. asked me about it, she didn't let me explain. She even shushed K when she tried to explain. Then she asked me who in my family says this word."

Obviously, we had a pretty legitimate explanation from Kaylea, so I wrote a note to her teacher explaining Kaylea's side of the story (since, obviously she hadn't been given that opportunity yesterday). In my letter I asked Mrs. T to verify that the word was in fact written in K's locker because Bub and I wanted to make sure Kaylea was being honest before we decided what type of punishment would be appropriate. I, also, went on to explain that contrary to what Kaylea said yesterday, this word is not one that we use freely in our home.

When I picked up Kaylea from school today, I immediately asked her what happened when Mrs. T. read my letter. Kaylea said that Mrs. T. asked her and K if the word was written in K's locker. Both girls said, "yes!" Then Mrs. T. took the girls to K's locker and looked for herself. Of course there is was staring back at her, blinding her with its vulgarity. Mrs. T.'s only response was, "Well, I will notify the office and have this removed from your locker." Nothing else was said or done. I didn't get a response to my letter, nothing! I can't believe that she would take the time, as the kids were getting packed to go home yesterday, to write this note letting me know that my child dropped the "F-Bomb" and corrupted all of the kids in the class, yet she can't find the time in a whole entire school day to write me a quick note to let me know that my child was being honest in her explanation about what happened.

To say that I am a little miffed would be quite an understatement. For some reason I am thinking that this is going to be a LONG year.



~~~THEN~~~

Kaylea was in Kindergarten and her class was lining up for lunch. A little boy came running up to me and said, "Ms. J., Kaylea said the "F" word." Again, I was in shock, but the wide eyed little boy had me convinced that my little Kbug had spent one too many days with her Auntie. I immediately went up to Kaylea and asked, "What did you just say?" To which I got the typical 6 year old response, "Hugh? Idunno?" I got eye to eye with her and said, "Brady said you just said the 'F' word. What did you say?!?" Kaylea got a real confused look on her face and said, "Fart?" I swear I almost lost it and ya know I remember thinking at that moment, if "fart" is the worse "F" word that my child ever says, I will be pretty lucky!

Man, I wish we could go back to Kindergarten.

Kaylea? Rude? I Think NOT!!!!!

Yesterday, I surprised Kaylea by joining her at school for lunch and staying to volunteer in her classroom. As I was leaving the cafeteria a little boy that was in Kaylea's class last year approached me. He looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes sparkling and his gorgeous smile and said, "Kaylea was rude to me today!" I wasn't really shocked, because she can be a little "spunky" at times. I asked him what she did that was so rude. Well, he proceeds to tell me that he called her over to his locker to show her his new hat -- it says, "I'm Irish Want To Get Lucky?" then...........................she kicked him!

My only reply was, "and who was it that was being rude?"


You GO baby girl! Don't take anything off of those little boys!

Why Oh Why...

...is it that the one child in the entire 4th grade that I didn't want in Kaylea's class is listed on the class roster?

We will say a little prayer and keep our fingers crossed! --Think positive! Think positive!

The New Class List Is Here, The New Class List Is Here!

Kaylea is all sorts of excited. As of today, the new class lists have been hung outside the school. She jumped out of bed this morning and that was the first thing out of her mouth. We already know who her teacher is, which was the important thing for me to find out. But, now she gets to find out if any of her friends will be in her class, which is the important thing for her to find out. Since I know most of the kids through subbing and volunteering, I will have a pretty good idea of how the year will go as soon as I see the list. Hopefully, we will win the sweet children lottery for classmates this year. Last year was pretty good, but we did have a few problems here and there - and of course Kaylea was right in the middle of them, as usual.

Kaylea tends to want to be friends with everyone and have everyone be friends with her and each other. Unfortunately though, some kids just don't get along (personalities don't jive, which is ok; more than one "queen bee" in class; etc.) Kaylea tries to play the role of NATO but ends up just being stuck in the middle being pulled both ways. I guess you could say that Kaylea is the Canada of the 4th grade. (Why can't we all just get along?) Oh, don't think that I am under the misperception that my daughter is not playing some role in all of the drama. After all, she is a girl and she is 9. To use a Dr. Phil(ism) I am trying to figure out what her "payoff" is for being in the middle. She definitely has one, otherwise she wouldn't continually put herself there. Maybe this will be the year that all of this changes - I sure hope so. I don't think I can take another year of girl drama. There are so many sweet little girls at Kaylea's school that I know would be a true "best friend" for her. She just needs to find that little girl and stick by her, no matter what!

Greenhouse Flatulence??????

Kaylea has been in Chorus this year and last week they performed their end of year production. I knew the program was about "living green" and "saving our planet", but imagine my surprise when I was seated and viewed the bulletin board behind the children:

Could it be that they were doing a Chorus program on Greenhouse "Gases". I could just imagine the songs about flamingo flatulence and bovine belching.

I told Bub that he might need to listen closely because I have been convinced for many years that the methane explosions he frequently experiences CAN'T be all good.

All joking aside, the kids gave a wonderful performance and we were SO proud of our little KayleaBug. Now, we are one more end-of-year program closer to summer. So to quote her only speaking part in the program, "Let's just keep on, keeping on!"


***DISCLAIMER*** The program title was really Update Earth. I just couldn't resist. Hey, you don't have to be 10 to find humor in anything flatulence related.

Kaylea Is Going Green

Let me start by saying that Bub and I are BAD - very very BAD! We do not recycle; heck in our neck of the woods we do good to get the trash hauled off to the dump before it overruns the cans. You see, we don't have city trash service because we live out in the little unincorporated town that wants to big but wants to stay small. So, recycling is something that I have yet to tackle.

Kaylea has been learning about recycling at school and wants us to begin. Kaylea's teacher is encouraging the children to bring their recyclable items into class and deposit them into the appropriate bins. Well, last night we had to hang a new roll of toilet paper and imagine my surprise when Kaylea asked if she could take the old used cardboard roll to school. When I inquired as to the reason, she said, "Well, Mom, we are suppose to recycle paper and this is paper." I controlled my inner laughter and told her "yes" she could take the toilet paper roll to school. So this morning, she put the TP roll in her backpack and proudly marched it into her class. Yes, friends, my daughter is doing her part to save the planet - one toilet paper roll at a time.

P.S. I think I am going to put out some tubs for paper, plastic and metal at home. Maybe, I can save Kaylea a little bit of future humiliation.

Life In Kaylea Land

Things are crazy, as usual, in Kaylea's little corner of the world. The child is involved in so many activities, it makes my mind spin. She has chorus at school 2 mornings a week; Girls Scouts every other Tuesday; Handbells and Church Choir every Wednesday afternoon; Karate every Wednesday evening; and Art Classes every Thursday afternoon. WHEW! (You can't tell me that my child wouldn't be adversely affected if I returned to the regular working world.)

More important than the extra-curricular activities, we are currently trying to get her prepped for the Terra Nova (TCAP) Test. This is the year end standardized test that is administered by the school system to track the progress and academic level of the students. Personally, I hate these tests! Last year, Kaylea didn't do as well as we thought she would/should. Bub and I were a little shocked when we saw her results. They weren't bad, but mostly just in the middle percentile. With the excellent grades that she brought home on her report cards last year, we were just assuming that her test scores would be in the upper percentile. Her teacher, Ms. W., was a little surprised, as well. Ms. W. said that Kaylea just might not be a good test taker. Well, if that is the case, we are in for a long road ahead. Unfortunately, as all of you are aware, our educational system uses "tests" for the primary method of evaluating a child's learning. If the child knows the material, but doesn't test well, the grades are an inaccurate reflection of comprehension and knowledge. Seeing as I can't single handedly change the philosophy and practices of the entire educational system, I suppose we might need to invest in some study skills classes for Kaylea in the future. Can you say, "Hello, Sylvan!"

After TCAPS are completed, it is pretty much a downhill ride for the rest of the school year. There will only be six weeks left and those weeks will be filled with parties, field days, field trips and other special activities. It is hard to believe that the school year is almost over. We are cutting Kaylea's school year short by one day so we can head out of town to Hilton Head the first week of June. All of us are starting to get excited about the trip. We can almost hear the beach calling our names. It should be a nice and relaxing way to end the school year and begin the summer.

Now, I guess it is time for me to start researching some summer programs to keep Kaylea busy and away from the TV for the remaining 10 weeks of summer vacation. So far, we are considering a reading program at UT; an art camp; continuing with karate; and a summer reading program at the library. Oh, and of course, there are the Kid's Summer Movies at Movies on the Parkway and we have our Dollywood and Splash Country season passes. I think I will be able to keep her entertained, how 'bout you? If any of you have any additional suggestions, I welcome all of them! I am always looking for new things to try out.

Now that I have made you conscious of the fact that there are only 6 weeks left until summer, go day dream about your vacation(s)!

WOOT! WOOT! School's Out For Winter Break

Yes, the little children of Sevier County are dancing in the streets.

All winter long, they have prayed for snow to no avail. The teachers have worn their lucky snow day outfits, but no luck. Shoot, I have even seen kid's on the playground perfecting their snow dance, but NOTHING!

Now, they finally have been given their days off. Unfortunately, it had to come at the expense of some very sick and flu ridden children here in the county. You see, our absentee percentage has been teetering just below the acceptable maximum for a few weeks now. Each day the Central Office was requesting the absentee reports, asap. Apparently, yesterday our sick children tipped the scale and school was called off for the remainder of the week. We were already scheduled to have winter break the 15th - 18th, so we just got two more days added on.

I would never say that anyone was glad that there were soooooo many sick kids; however, I will say I saw a lot of happy people (students and teachers) yesterday afternoon while walking the halls of the school.

To all of you sickly ones out there, I hope you get to feeling better over the extended break. We will be thinking about you as we head out for the beach! See ya!

The Report Card Came! The Report Card Came! She's An Honor Student Again!

Yeah Kaylea! She made the "A" Honor Roll. She even got an "E" in Gym. You go girl!!!! (That was one of my "C" subjects!)

The only area we have to work on is the whole "Avoids Unnecessary Talking" thing. I don't thing the "N" stands for Neato.

Oh well, the child can't be perfect, now can she?

Kaylea is Trilingual!

Not a whole lot going on in our little corner of East TN. Just getting back into the swing of things after the Winter Break. The third six weeks ended Monday, and currently we are anxiously awaiting Kaylea's report card. School has always been easy for Kaylea (until this year, that is). Now, she is really starting to realize what it means to have to work and study to get those A's that she likes so much. Last six weeks she made her first B. I was kinda hoping she would be a little upset by the grade. (not totally devastated, but a little bit upset would be OK) But of course, she was neither! She thought there was nothing wrong with a B; she thought they were really good. I told her she was correct, but A's were better!

Of course, Mom would have been thrilled if my sister and I had been A / B students when we were in school. Unfortunately, though, I made my fair share of C's over the years (and we won't even talk about Auntie M's report cards ;) I remember Mom and me arguing about the abundance of C's on one of my report cards and me trying to convince her that the mediocrity of a C was just fine. After all, a C is described as "average" which is what she should want for her child. Subsequently, if I wasn't average, then I was some kind of freak (I think I was in 8th grade, which would explain the thought process, hugh?) I continued my argument by explaining that "average" meant that most kids were making them and I was normal for making them, too. Mom didn't really buy my argument, though.

One of the subjects that has given Kaylea the most challenges is English. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised by this. You see, when Kaylea was in 1st grade she argued with me and was adamant that she didn't even speak English. If I remember correctly, Kaylea was telling me about learning a Spanish word while watching Dora the Explorer. I was very impressed and asked her how to say the word in English. She was quick to tell me she didn't speak English. I was rather confused and corrected her. She continued to argue with me saying she DIDN'T speak English. I finally got tired of the arguing and said, "Fine, Kaylea, if you don't speak English then what do you speak?" Her response was, "American!" DOINK!!!

Now, I wouldn't argue with her if she told me she didn't speak English, but she speaks Hillbilly, instead. That is the truth. The child can't say crayon to save her life; she says crown. She doesn't call me "Mommy" or even "Mom"; she calls me "Mama" (Bub and I find ourselves quite frequently breaking out into the Judd's rendition of Mama He's Crazy after she calls for me). She doesn't say "pants"; she says "britches." And yesterday while standing in Coldwater Creek she was quick to tell me she needed to go to the bathroom because she "had the gut ache." What a proud moment!!!!

Now that I think about it, we should be thrilled if she gets a B in English, seeing as, they don't give grades in American Hillbilly. Bless her heart!

Daughter Of The Year Goes To Kaylea!!!!

....and Mom of the Year (in the lousy category) goes to me. In case any of you out there have ever doubted the fablousness of my daughter, just sit back and read this.

As you are aware, from reading the Science Fair post, yesterday we began working on the experiment phase of Kaylea's project. Kaylea was very excited about making an entry in the Science Fair. The entry was not a requirement for the 3rd graders and she was excited because she was going to be one of only a few children in her grade that were participating.

As I mentioned before, the material for the Science Fair was sent home several months ago (I believe the beginning of October). I looked over the requirements and dates at that time and then filed (ha) the paper on the top of my computer desk where all of the things that need to be dealt with go. Pretty much since the day the paper came home, Kaylea has been pestering me to get started on the project. I just didn't see any need to start that early since the Science Fair wasn't until February (so I thought). I wanted her to wait so that the research would be fresh in her mind (and also because I have a BAD habit of procrastinating).

Today, I dug to the bottom of the paper pile on the desk because I needed to know the dimension requirements for the display boards. I thought it would be neat to take Kaylea to the store and let her pick out all of the "pretties" for her board. Well, imagine my shock and sickness when I discovered that her school Science Fair in TOMORROW! YES, it is tomorrow! The date in February that I had ingrained in my head is the date of the county-wide Science Fair. Boy o boy, did I screw up!!!!!!!! Now I only had to figure out a way tell my daughter without causing too much therapy in the future.

As I drove to school this afternoon, I rehearsed the impending conversation with her in my head. I have to admit I was very nervous about telling her. Not because she would know that I am not perfect (I have proven that many times over) but because I hate to think that I am causing her any type of sadness, disappointment or grief. The last thing on earth I want to do is let down my little girl, and in my opinion I had let her down in a big way!

When I picked her up I told her that I had something to tell her and she was probably going to be mad at me, AND THAT WAS O.K. Then, I told her I was really sorry for the mistake I had made. Finally, I told her that she was not going to be able to participate in the Science Fair because I had not written down the correct date.

You know, she just looked at me and said, "It's o.k. Mom. Parents make mistakes sometimes, too." Can you believe it? Wow, what a kid! I know she is great but let's face it she is NINE. Most of the time, her little universe has her in the middle with everyone else orbiting around her. But today, she was so mature. She wasn't disappointed, at least she didn't show it if she was. She was so understanding and accepting and even gave me a hug and told me not to worry about it.

I'm sure some of you probably think I made way too big a deal about this and maybe I did. I just know that it makes me sick to think of letting her down in any way.

Bub and I discussed the situation and pondered our options at this point. We both think it is important for Kaylea to finish her project. She needs to be able to have the satisfaction of completing the project that she has been looking forward to. Also, it won't hurt her to learn the steps involved in conducting an experiment and completing a Science Fair project. So, we put our heads together (Daddy, Kaylea and Me) and decided that when she is finished Kaylea can enter her project into the first ever Curiously Kaylea Cyber Science Fair. Yes, our little Blog will be having its own Science Fair. I will post lots of pictures of her project along with the results of our test when everything is complete. Of course, we are going to need some judges for our Cyber Science Fair. If you would like to be one of our judges, just leave a little comment when you see her finished project on the Blog. She will be anxiously awaiting your feedback.

The Science Fair Project

A few months ago Kaylea jumped into the car after school and was bubbling with excitement. She says, "Guess what Mom? I signed up to do a Science Fair Project. We don't have to do one, but I really want to because I love Science. And we get extra credit for it!"

Well, I was immediately taken back to 8th grade when I had to do a Science Fair Project and my Mom did the whole thing for me. You see, I was not exactly a star student in Science and had no interest in doing any kind of project that would be on display for the entire school to view. So I picked a topic that had something to do with hair follicles, or something like that (I'm sure Mom could tell you in more detail the subject) and my Mom "helped" me. Actually, she did the whole thing. She wrote the report (but I typed it, I think), she supplied the pictures, and she even did my board. I remember it was real pretty and I was very proud of it (her).

Though I had never been a real Science whiz, I was kind of excited about Kaylea's project. I thought it would be a lot of fun and a good opportunity for Kaylea and me to work together. When we got home, I read the material that was sent home from school and had to chuckle. It clearly said that the project is to be completed by the child or it will be disqualified. First of all, she is nine; she has no idea what a Science Fair project is let alone what type of topic to choose. Second, I wouldn't be doing it for her I will just be helping her with it. Well, that afternoon I began Googling "science fair projects for children." After I had compiled a list of about ten to fifteen different projects I let her choose which one she wanted to do. Well, she chose to find out which brand of soap would dissolve the quickest in water.

The Science Fair is next month so we are going to begin today. I have already formulated our plan of attack on the experiment. We are going to start with four bars of soap (different brands but equal weight). Each day we are going to let the bars soak in a container of water for 20 minutes and then weigh them. She will be recording the weights each day for two weeks. In the end she will make a chart to show how much each bar dissolved each day. Sounds easy enough and she should be able to do this without too much help from me (ya think?)

I was telling Auntie M about the project and all of my ideas for decorating the board. "I was thinking she could get a blue board and cover it with bubble stickers and put a rubber ducky on the table and......." Then Auntie abruptly stopped me and said, "Jen, don't be one of THOSE moms. Make sure it is Kaylea's project and not yours. It needs to be her work, no matter how bad it may look."

Well, this got me thinking. Maybe I am trying to finally do my Science Fair Project from 8th grade. Just like my Mom was trying to finally do the project she never completed. Wow, what a revelation. OK, the cycle will stop with me! I will let Kaylea do her project her way! I will only offer assistance when asked or needed! I will make Kaylea be responsible for this assignment!

But, I just have a few questions. Do you think it would be over the top if Kaylea had a strobe light on her table? Or how about a boom box playing Splish Splash? Or how about if she wore her robe and shower cap to the Science Fair? OOPs, there I go again, sorry!

No, really, I will let her do it herself ;)